Hey kids, the plow mule done birthed a girl critter. Younguns, this here girl has come from Fairyland to school y'all. Now if you need me, I'll be on the porch drinking Thompson's Water Seal.

Now honey, theys my parents too!

That's right, we home school 'em. I teach the big ones and the big ones teach the little ones, but no one ever taught me, which makes the whole thing just an exercise in futility.

Excuse my faux pas, that jug was fo pa. Come on now we'll go on back to the still. And in case we run into trouble... BRANDINE, where's the bazook?! Aww.. you gon shoot those Google Earth folks what caught me with mah britches down.

I don't sign anything, unless i pretend to read it...