Best of all the Flanders

Rod: Daddy, what are you doing?
Ned Flanders: Imploring people I never met to pressure government with better things to do to punish a man who meant no harm for something nobody even saw, that's what I'm doing!
Todd: Daddy, I think we need a new mommy.
Ned: One problem at a time!

Son of a diddly

Ned: What do we have hear? The long flabby arm of the law. The last case you got to the bottom of, was a case of mallamars!
Krusty: Mallamars! Thats going in the act.
Ned: Oh, yeah, the clown. The only one of you bafoons who doesn't make m laugh! And as for you! I don't know you but I'm sure you're a jerk!
Lenny: Hey I've only been here a few minutes whats going on?
Ned: (to moe) You ugly, hate-filled man!
Moe: Hey, Hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I- uh what was the third thing you said?
Ned: (gently but angerly) Homer...you are the worst human being I have ever met...
Homer: Hey, I got off pretty easy...